Behind the scenes
by Nameless face in the crowd
Summary: What happens when a senior in high school gets board and binge watches season 4 of Blue Bloods.
1. Chapter 1

I go and get food after she makes it through the outside security gates. Eddie's love for food is alarming and I know that if the visit goes badly, food will be my best bet. She won't try and take her anger out on me if I hand her a burger and fries. I tell myself that getting her food is an act of self-preservation and that I'm not doing it just to see her smile.

I almost believe myself.

She emerges about forty five minutes after she entered and I'm sitting on the hood of the car waiting for her. I smile as I try to get a clear read on her mood. She looks lighter, as if a great weight had finally been lifted from her shoulders, but she projects a gloomy energy. She is looking down though, so I can't see her face.

Then she looked up.

Her eyes meet mine and her pace quickens. I stand up, ready to get in the car, but before I can move towards the driver's side door, she's on me. She crashes into my chest and I stumble back a step to regain my balance. If she were any bigger we both would be on the ground. My arms unconsciously wrap around her small body, holding her to me. Her head is pressed into my shoulder and her hands cling tightly to the back of the shirt beneath my leather jacket. I try not to think about how good it feels, how right.

"Hey, it's gunna be okay," I say softly. One of my hands begins to rub what I hope are soothing circles on her back. I know I can't push her to talk. She's snap at me like she did the other day. But I wish I knew what happened in there. We just stand there for a few moments and I can feel her muscles begin to relax. She takes a few deep breaths and looks up at me.

"Thanks Jamie" she whispers. She sounds far younger than she is. She looks up at me and the broken look on her face makes my heart ache. I give her a gently smile. She lets go of the back of my shirt and I force my arms to release her. She shoots me a nervous grin and climbs into the passenger's seat. I take a breath and slide behind the wheel. Eddie already has her seatbelt on and is gazing blankly out the window, lost in her own thoughts. Her head is pressed against the glass.

"I ah" I stutter. Only she can make me stutter. "I got you a burger" I admit as I reach into the back to retrieve that fast food bag. Her head whips around and her eyes light up. I chuckle. There's my girl. Not that she's my girl. "But if you don't want it I could always just…" I trail off.

"Give it Reagan!" She lunges at the bag and if she didn't have a seatbelt on I think she would have ended up on top of me. I laugh and toss the bag into her lap. She tears into it like an animal. If it were just a normal day on patrol I would have made a crack about her eating habits, but today I bite my tongue. She sinks her teeth into it and moans. She actually moans. I'm beginning to think she has an unhealthy relationship with food.

"Don't forget to breathe," I crack as I turn the key and the engine roars to life. I see her flip me off out of the corner of my eye before she returns to her second full sized dinner of the night. I just drive because I know that's what she needs me to do. And I would do anything for her.

So I just drive.

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_**Let me know what you think and if I should continue **_


	2. Chapter 2

She is asleep by the time I reach her apartment, knees pulled up to her chest, head back against the headrest, and empty fast food bag on the floor. I get lucky and find an empty spot just across the street. I shut off the engine and look over at her. She looks peaceful. Her hair had fallen into her face and I fight the urge to reach over and brush it back behind her ear. Her chin had burrowed its way into the top of her grey turtle neck and she had kicked off her boots. She looked younger, more innocent than I had ever seen her. I slide out of the car and close the door as quietly as you can close a car door. It's not easy. I make my way around to the passenger side door and open it. Crouching down next to her, I place one hand on her shoulder and the other on her knee.

"Hey, Eddie," I whisper. They say it's the City that Never Sleeps, but everything seems pretty quiet tonight. She stirs and takes a second to blink the sleep from her eyes.

"Reagan?" Her voice is laced with sleep. The tone reminds me of all the nights I babysat Nikki. We would watch The Lion King and before Simba could return home, Nikki'd be out like a light. When the credits began to roll, I would wake her and she'd use that same voice.

"Let's get you inside, okay?" I answer. She nods silently. I watch as she slowly unfolds herself and slips her feet back into her boots. She unceremoniously topples out of the car and somehow, miraculously, ends up on her feet. I shut and lock the car door.

We head across the street and toward the apartment building. As we come up the sidewalk an older gentleman opens the door for us. Eddie cracks a grin and instantly perks up.

"James!" she exclaims excitedly as we reach him. 'James' grins back at her.

"Officer Janko" he respectfully replies with a slight tilt of his head.

"One day, Jameson, one day you will wake up and decided that today is going to be the day." She sticks her tongue out at him as we cross the threshold. For a girl with an apartment in a fancy building with a doorman, she isn't very sophisticated. But then again, that's what makes her so likable.

"If you say so Officer Janko" the doorman replies before his serious face cracks into a grin. "Have a good night." He retreats to his chair in the corner and returns to what looks to be a book of crossword puzzles.

I wait till the elevator doors slide shut behind us to ask. "What exactly is he going to decide to do one morning?" I didn't follow their conversation.

"Oh," Eddie chuckles. "It's just that I've been living here for almost three years now and I still can't get James to call me anything other than Officer Janko. It's just a game we play I guess."

I nod and pretend that that's normal. But if I think about it, it is normal for Eddie. She has running jokes with doormen and street venders that most people wouldn't even think to thanks. Eddie and the vender at our usual hot dog stand always joke about finding me a date. Eddie always laughs with the teenager at that coffee place Eddie like so much. And even when she is as dead tired as she is now, she still finds the energy to brighten an old doorman's day. It's impossible to not be a little bit in love with her. I know the doorman is. My only problem is that I think I might be more than a little bit…

The elevator pings and the doors slide open. We step off and she leads the way to a door at the far end of the hall. I lean against the opposite wall and watch her as she fishes around in her pockets for her key. She finds it, slips it into the lock and cracks open the door. She steps inside before turning back to face me.

"You want to come in?" she asks and I think I detect a hint of hesitation in her voice.

"It's late" I whisper with a slight shake of my head. She needs some sleep. "I'll see you tomorrow, right partner?"

It's her turn to nod. I turn and begin to retrace our steps back towards the elevator. I only get a few steps before she calls out.

"Hey Jamie?" it's soft and I almost think that I imagined it for a second. I turn anyways and shoot her a questioning look. She steps forward and places a lingering kiss on my cheek. My eyes slide shut against my will for a second as she hovers in my space. I look down at her. "Thank you."

"Anytime," I whisper. And I mean it. "I'll see you tomorrow." I turn and head towards my empty apartment. Sleep won't come easy tonight.

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_**Let me know what you think. Not sure where to go next. I hope you liked it. Thanks!**_


	3. Chapter 3

There's no doorman to greet me when I reach my building. It's late and the only person I pass in the stairwell is that elderly woman from the third floor. I can almost garuntee she was up on the roof smoking again. We don't acknowledge each other as we pass and I remember than that's the way this city works. You keep your head down and walk, minding your own business the whole time. That's how everyone does it; everyone except Eddie of course.

I lock my door behind me and hang my leather jacket on the hook by the door. I toss my keys into the bowl on the counter and grab a beer from the fridge. I sink into the worn couch cushions and flip on the TV. It shatters the silence. My mind can't focus on the show though, it keeps going back to her. I may have gone to Harvard, but I'm an idiot. She asked me to come in. She had wanted me to go in. And I said no. Why the hell did I say no?

But I know the answer. She was upset. The day she had had, was unimaginable. She would have woken up in the morning and regretted it. It would have been over before it began. She would have risked her reputation at work for nothing. And most guys would say that it would have been worth it. That one night with someone like her would have been worth almost anything. But I couldn't do just one night. I couldn't go to work the next morning and pretend that nothing had happened, that nothing had changed. Because she wasn't just a pretty girl, she was Eddie. She was my Eddie. And I was in love with her.

I had walked away.

So now I'm here, in my empty apartment staring at the wall. And it sucks right now and I wish I hadn't walked away for a moment. I grant myself one minute. I allow myself to pretend for just one minute that I could have stayed. I imagine how it would have felt to just hold her in my arms. I recall the scent of her shampoo. And I want to cry. But I'll wake up in the morning and I'll head in for shift and we'll get in the car and she'll smile at me. And it will be enough. It has to be.

My phone beeps as I step out of the shower the next morning. I dry off and reach for it as I pull on a pair of jeans. It's from Nikki. I pull on a shirt and head out the door. I slip my arms into a hoodie as walk to the car and head towards Erin's. I'm going to be late for work if I don't hurry. Eddie's constant jokes about my driving pop into my head. I try to shake them out. It doesn't work very well.

I climb out of the car and jog into the building. The elevator is taking too long so I opt for the stairs. Nikki answers the door as soon as I knock. She looks worried.

"Thanks for coming Uncle Jamie," she greets but she doesn't smile. It obviously isn't a social call. Is she in trouble? Where's Erin?

"Everything okay?" I ask, "You're text said it was serious."

"Yeah, it's about a friend of mine." She steps aside and lets me into the apartment.

"A friend?" I glance at her skeptically was I walk by. That was Erin's favorite was a asking for help as a teen.

"No, really. He's a great kid" she says as she shuts the door and turns to face me. It's a he? I'm in trouble. Why doesn't anyone ever go to Danny for help? She continues, "Names Tyler. He went to my school but… Mom said she saw him in Hell's Kitchen looin' like he was on drugs." Oh Lord. Nikki has sketchy looking drug doing boyfriends. Where the hell is Erin?

"Did he use when you knew him?" I try to remain calm. She didn't go to Danny for a reason. She glances away for a second. This isn't going to be good.

I knew he smoked pot sometimes" she admits. I'm going to have to ask. I shoot her a look and pray she'll catch my drift. I don't want to have to say it. She catches on. "No!" Thank God. "I don't but if I did and it helped find Tyler then I'd admit it." She seems to really care about this kid.

"So you want me to look for him?" I ask.

"Could you?" She looks really worried. "Mom said it was around 35th and 10th."

"That's a pretty sketchy area" I tell her.

"Yeah, I know" she replies. At least she's not planning on going down there herself. If I say no, I'm sure she will though. She turns to her bag on the table.

"Here." She pulls out a photo and hands it to me. "That's what he looks like. She's got her arms around the kid in the photo. And a big smile on her face. They seem close, and he looks like a good kid.

"Your mom know you want me to do this?" I question. It seems odd the Erin isn't here for this.

"Yeah, she's really worried too. She would have been here but she wanted to go talk to Child Services about him." Sounds like Erin, ever the lawyer.

"Alright, I'll see what I can do" I say with a nod as she pulls her backpack on.

"Thanks Uncle Jamie." I just nod. We go our separate ways when he hit the street. She can't miss her bus and I'm going to need to drive like Eddie to get to work on time. I turn to key and the engine roars to life.

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_**Let me know what you think (again). I'm hoping to have the next chapter done by Tuesday or Wednesday. Give me a reason to write :)**_


	4. Chapter 4

I had just changed into uniform when it went out over the radio. There was an officer down. A detective from Danny's precinct. No name. I reach for my phone, dial the number, and wait. It rings. He doesn't answer. I try again. Shift is about to start and I head out to find Eddie, the phone still pressed to my ear. I hit redial. I leave a voicemail. I hit redial again.

"Hey!" Eddie finds me in the hall and I don't even need to say anything. "Voice mail again?" she asks and I don't even bother questioning how she knew. She's Eddie.

"Yeah, third time" I try to keep my voice calm, to at least present a front of strength. "Hear anything new?" I'm not losing another brother. It isn't happening.

"Lady called 911. Said she was out walking her dog, heard yelling from behind a fence, Someone being accused of being a cop. Shots fired."

"Still no name." I know there's still no name. Eddie would have told me if there was a name. But I ask anyways. Maybe I just need to hear her say it. Her voice is calming. Its probably not him. He's to stubborn to get shot.

"Only that he was rushed to St. Benjamin's. Couple of guys are headed over." She nods. I've seen that face before, heard that voice. It's the voice she uses to defuse a situation on the job. She's handling me. If I was less worried, I might have spared a moment to be angry.

"Okay," I tell her. " I'm going to ask the boss if we can too. Just in case." I start down the hall.

"Okay, there's got to be 15 detectives in the 5-4 squad. Odds are," she places a hand on my arm as my phone starts to ring, "it isn't your brother."

"Danny's wife." Linda name flashes on my caller ID. Did she get the call? Was it Danny?

"No way she's heard anything." Eddie's still trying to calm me down. I appreciate it, but it's not working.

"Or she got the call." I answer the phone. She says it's not him. She talked to him. I take a breath. Everyone's alright. Eddie looks almost as relieved as I am. It gives me hope. She cares. We head to the car. I toss her the keys and climb into the passenger's seat. She pulls out of the lot as I call Erin and my grandfather.

I hand up the phone and let me head fall against the window. I take a deep breath and try to push the fear that had swelled up back down. He was fine. He had talked to Linda. Everyone was okay. But after Joe. I couldn't stand the thought of that pain again.

Eddie's hand lands on my leg. I whip my head around to look at her. Her eyes haven't left the road. "He's okay, Jamie" she says softly without so much as a glance in my direction. "Everyone's alright."

And for some reason, just hearing someone say it, hearing her say it, makes it finally sink in. The lingering terror fades and I can breathe again. My hand falls to my lap and I grab the one she left sitting on my thigh. I flip it and slide my fingers between hers. I hold on. And everything's okay. We're okay.

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_**So I know it's a little out of order, but I really wanted to write it. Let me know what you guys think. I've go finals this week, but I'll try and post again soon. **_


	5. Chapter 5

I park the car and we step out to begin our foot patrol. I know that Eddie heard me ask the Boss for this sector. She hasn't mentioned it though. She's good like that; trusting and loyal. I couldn't ask for a better partner. But that's beside the point.

She sighs as she pulls her hat over her blond bun. Her hairs always up at work. "Another day of crime fighting." She walks towards the front of the car to meet me. Her expression suddenly changes. She goes from tired and bored to giddy and excited in a minute. "We should get cape!" she exclaims. Only Eddie.

"I should get a new partner" I reply. I have to look away as I saw it. It's a joke. I know it's a joke and she knows I would never, but I still have to look away. She laughs. It's a beautiful sound.

"So why did you ask the boss for this sector today?" She asks. She watches me as we walk. I keep my gaze forward but I can feel her eyes on my.

"Favor for my niece and sister. Friend of Nikki's was in this area the other day lookin' kinda rough, so I said I'd look for him."

"Man, you do more for your family by nine A.M. than my family's done for each other our entire lives." I have to stop myself from asking. I want to know more. I mean, I know about her Dad, but what about her mom? Does she have any siblings? Are they in touch? I don't ask. I really should ask one of these days.

"His name is Tyler Jefferies," I explain instead. "He's about five foot eight. He's sixteen. He's got blond hair. I got a picture of him here." I root through my breast pocket and show it to her. She studies it for a minute and then nods. I return it to my pocket.

"So where do we start?" she asks. I smile. She really is the best.

We find his about a block down from where Nikki said Erin saw him. Eddie actually spots him. He's rooting through a trash can. We approach.

"Tyler?" Eddie tries to get his attention. The kids head shoots up and he freezes just long enough for us to get up close to him. "We just want to he-" He shoves her and she, having not been expecting it, falls. He takes off and Eddie comes up swearing. She gives chase. I follow. The kid takes a corner and by the time we turn to follow him, the alleys empty and he's gone. We keep our eyes open for the rest of shift, but Tyler doesn't turn up again.

Eddie requests the sector again the next day, claiming that she knew I wanted to find him for Nikki. Ad, a s usual, she was right. Sure I was upset that Nikki lied to me and her mom, but he was a friend of hers who needed some help. I did want to find him. So we headed out again.

I don't know what to call the feeling I get as we watch Erin leave with Tyler and Nikki, but it feels amazing. The fact that Eddie's right next to me makes it even better. I turn to look at her and she, at the same moment, turns to me. Her smile is contagious. I can't help it. I turn to go before I say or do something I may regret.

"I want a cape." Her voice follows me as I go to change. That's it. I feel like a superhero.

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_**Sorry it took so long. Just finished finals and I had family in town for my graduation. Let me know what you think! I hope I get the next chapter done soon. **_


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